Who's Responsible?

Preaching responsibility to today's kids is akin to pulling greasy bacon off of your breakfast napkin. No matter how hard you tug, the darn piece of pig food refuses to adhere to your hold. The grease wants to seep into the paper and stick right there. Why should I surrender to those grubby fingers, the bacon thinks, that will surely pluck me off this nice hot napkin and drop me into oblivion - i.e., your mouth?

Today was a solid day until 5th period. Then I get hit with the proverbial ton of bricks (Heh. Two figurative devices in as many paragraphs. Should I go for a new record? Nah.) when my principal lets me know of a parent who needs to speak with me. Turns out this parent tried to get in touch with me back in January, but somehow I didn't get word. Had absolutely no idea. And she's quite miffed, to say the least.

Not for the usual reasons, mind you. Her kid is doing decent in my class. No, she's worried about another class, and she'd wanted to get my input about getting her kid help with the inclusion teacher at our school. Now it's looking like a failing grade is in the cards for her kid, and she only just started getting help a month ago, too late to make any difference. She's angry and feels that all of this could have been prevented had someone sat down with her back in January and gotten her kid some help.

I'm at a loss as I listen to her over the phone. Since the failing grade isn't in my class, I don't really know what to say that would help. But that's not what makes me feel like gutter trash. I feel terrible that she's gone on this long without hearing from me. I know I don't recall hearing anything about her wanting to speak with me. No messages, no phone records, no e-mails. A whole lotta nada. So now her child's on track to fail this class, and all the pressure's on her to pass it in summer school so that she can move on to the next grade.

So who's responsible? As much as I want to take that mantle on myself, I don't see how I can do that. It's not as if I knew she was waiting to talk to me, or had any clue how serious her kid's class situation was. I don't teach it, after all. So how can I know? How am I supposed to know what to do or be any help when I haven't even gotten word about what's going on?

It would seem a more logical person to hold responsible would be her teacher in this class. But I'm hesitant to do that. I know this teacher. It's not like she didn't do the best she could to teach the concepts to the student. It's also not like she has not already sacrificed so much of herself to see that her kids get the best possible chance to succeed. The kid was in the same class as all the others. Got the material presented by the same means. So why hasn't it sunk in?

Is the parent responsible? Partly, yes. But for what? Her kid, sure. But how can it be responsible to "contact me" four months ago, sit on it for who knows how long and then rake me over the coals like some Machiavellian evil-doer who's known about this all along and deliberately ignored it? It's the insinuation that I want her child to fail that frosts me.

What about the kid? Shouldn't she be held responsible for the grades that she earns and the effort she puts in? Yes. But the possibility exists of a learning disability in this class, and if that's preventing her from understanding the concepts covered, then how much can she reasonably be expected to learn?

I don't know. It's Teacher Appreciation Week, and after that, I felt like pitching the nice white rose I got this morning in the trash. I felt like a failure. Mostly at being in the dark for so long and being utterly helpless on what to do now that I do know about it. Now I'm not down on myself; I've got enough self-respect to know I'm only one man and I can't help everybody, but that doesn't change the way I felt.

The way I see it, though, at this point it's not so much about who's responsible. We interpret that to mean "who's at fault?" And worrying over who did or didn't do what is wasting time better spent helping this child now. That's our main responsibility.